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  • “不畏歲月不懼時光,55歲,你依然可以這樣!”這是美友@相由心生 2018年一篇文章的標題。在這篇文章里,她一會兒穿著比基尼在沙灘上,臉上有著這個年紀少有的自信,一會兒又扛著長長的鏡頭穿梭在非洲草原,盡管這樣時髦和風情萬種,她還不忘標榜自己是“中國大媽”。帶著好奇,美友記第三期采訪了她...
    相由心生在熱帶海灘留影

    昵稱:相由心生

    美篇號:427235

    美齡:1160天+

    個性簽名:遠處是風景,近處是人生!

    點此進入相由心生的美篇專欄

    相由心生在烏蘭布統

    Part 1

    部隊培養了我,美篇讓我真實表達

    和美篇里那個陽光率真、性感熱情的“相由心生”正好相反,退休前的劉女士擁有上校軍銜,是軍隊醫院一名政治部協理員,黨總支書記,先后7次榮立三等功。嚴肅認真,保持嚴謹是最基本的職業要求。生在部隊大院,長在部隊大院,工作也在部隊的她,用她自己的話說:很長一段時間和真正的社會生活是隔絕的。


    退休后,她遇見了美篇,脫下軍裝的那一刻,另一個繽紛的世界緩緩向她打開。

    相由心生軍裝照

    早期接觸美篇主要用來發自己拍的一些照片,后來相由心生通過各種活動認識了很多美友,唱歌,朗誦,寫游記,甚至她還和美友一起合作電影配音。


    部隊的環境雖然相對單調,但是鍛煉了她,她的文字功底,她的攝影水平,她的唱歌愛好都是因為工作慢慢積累而養成的。在采訪中,她多次提到感謝部隊的培養。

    帽子、墨鏡和相機是出行標配

    ?“在美篇交朋友,我有特別的技巧”

    相由心生玩美篇,不只自己做,也喜歡看別人的作品,被美友@夜海獨行的文字吸引,成了微信好友;出發旅游前,她會先在美篇找相關攻略的文章,因此也結交到了@左成等特別靠譜的攝影師朋友,他們線下一行人組織去非洲拍片,她說跟著老師們去旅拍,能學到很多攝影技巧。


    對于在美篇交朋友,相由心生有特別的技巧:“首先你要注意甄別,一定是和你志同道合的朋友你再去主動聯系;然后呢,最重要的一個原則是,不要想著從別人身上得到什么,保持一個君子之交是最美的距離。

    內蒙草原行

    ? “不用加我微信,關注我美篇就行”

    接觸美篇后,相由心生像一塊剛被扔進大海的海綿一樣吸收著外界的信息。她很珍惜自己的每一次創作,為了寫好美篇,她會主動去找資料,這是個很難得的提高自己的機會。“也算是彌補我這些年錯過的外面的世界吧!”

    “旅途中有年輕人問起我的微信說要看我拍的片時,我都說,不用加我微信,直接去美篇關注我就行!”這個時候,她就會把美篇號告訴對方,“美篇是我絕對的社交窗口!”

    海灘留影

    Part 2

    退休后的生活:總有一種好奇驅動著我去看世界

    2014年相由心生退休,2016年她擁有人生第一本護照,兩年多的時間里,她去了20多個國家,30多個城市。


    在辦公室被“關”了32年,一退休,她開始真正地“放飛自我”了。

    在菲律賓跳水前

    在海灘穿比基尼,去非洲拍野生動物,在烏蘭布統扛著長長的鏡頭穿著酷酷的制服背著裝備拍下風光大片。


    說起這些年的旅行,相由心生坦誠自己也經歷了盲目跟團游到挑選主動規劃目的地的過程。在這探索的過程中,她也找到了自己的“最愛”:現在她專著拍野生動物,去過這么些地方,最愛的是非洲。

    ? 我太喜歡大自然了,尤其是非洲!

    非洲原始,狂野,最重要的是,那里沒有扎堆的游客,為了避開打卡式的景點,相由心生和團友特地研究了路線,去了比較偏門的地方,就是為了專著拍大草原上的動物。

    “我真是太喜歡非洲了,我一定還會再去的,要不是我英語不好我都考慮過在那當義工的。”


    說起大自然時,相由心生用了很多個特別喜歡。去過斯里蘭卡的熱帶雨林,去菲律賓也是為了拍世界上最小的猴子和海豚,2019年的計劃是去有“最美科考地”之稱的馬達加斯加!

    聽她描繪起旅途中的風景,坐在開著空調和加濕器的辦公室的我動了心,她說她不喜歡都市,這一刻我竟然也想背叛城市放下工作不顧一切去熱帶草原吹吹風。我想,比非洲風景更吸引人的是她本人,對的,就是她身體里那股掩蓋不住的熱情。

    ? 我在菲律賓懸崖跳水,好多人說我“瘋了”

    在她今年1月份發的文章《五五人生,玩出新高度!》里,有幾個視頻,視頻中相由心生從菲律賓一處10幾米的懸崖筆直地跳入大海中,為了畫面好看,她選擇不穿救生衣,直接穿泳衣跳水。

    相由心生在菲律賓跳水瞬間

    “同行的男同胞有的都不敢跳,我就跳了,發出去好多人說我瘋了!”說到這里,相由心生在電話那頭發出了爽朗的笑聲。


    “家人看我去有風險的地方,每次都會很擔心!”說起旅途中這些“冒險”時刻,她說出去玩就是一種探索精神和好奇在驅動自己,從不曾害怕或者猶豫。

    相由心生在仙本那潛水

    她的旅行態度甚至可以說人生態度就是:享受這一刻的幸福,絕不害怕。“我和女兒還調侃過,真要因為出去玩出了點事,這一生也值了,不后悔”她還說起本來想考個潛水證的,但因為有耳疾,最終還是放棄了。


    下一站去哪?

    “我特想去泰國跳傘!”

    相由心生在仙本那潛水

    Part3

    “我很樂意為中國大媽代言”

    近幾年“壞人變老了”的聲音在各種社會新聞的評論中出現,“中國大爺”,“中國大媽”作為網絡用語則成了大家心照不宣的貶義詞。

    在前進的游船上,后面浪很大

    ? “壞人變老了?其實我們不都是那樣的!”

    對于這樣的現象,相由心生一方面自己出去確實也見到過很多不文明不盡體面的現象,另一方面她覺得這樣的妖魔化、標簽化其實是對中老年人群的偏見。


    “我是一名軍人,我走出去尤其是去境外旅游,總覺得不只代表自己也代表了中國。”軍人那種與生俱來的使命感不只體現在這里,相由心生說她每次出游行李箱隨身攜帶急救包:“我自己身體比較好,我這是為別人準備,有個萬一隨時可以用得上,我有急救的技能”。

    海邊照

    相由心生身上那種“使命自覺”,驅使著她,她總覺得自己還能做點什么...與此同時,她的文章在美篇受到關注,看到不斷涌入的評論、留言。她意識到,除了記錄,美篇完全可以成為她表達的窗口,她能借此影響更多人...

    著鮮艷的裙在草地留影

    之前相由心生很忌諱談及自己真實年齡,覺得這很私密。后來她所有的文章里都會強調自己的真實年齡,甚至在文章里自稱“中國大媽”:


    “我就是要告訴大家,中國大媽不全是那樣的!我很想也很樂意為中國大媽代言。”

    ? 什么時候都不能放棄自己:這么多年晚飯我從來沒吃飽過

    “在我這個年紀的人,很多都放棄自己了。我喜歡美,也愛臭美,所以我對自己也很嚴格的。”


    相由心生給我舉了幾個例子,讓我這個所謂的年輕人突然有了一種羞愧和危機感。

    相由心生的生活照

    這么多年我晚飯就沒吃飽過,這幾年我基本放棄吃晚飯了,年輕時候就這樣,那時候就被單位人說臭美,所以我從來不參加什么晚餐聚會。”


    除此之外,她堅持每天健步走,游泳,練瑜伽。說到這里相由心生提及一個細節,她說自己健步走不會選擇在小區里散散步就算了,一定要特地去頤和園,她把這個總結為自己對生活追求“有儀式感”。

    相由心生的生活照

    相比“放棄自我”這一命題,對于更多的中國中老年人來說,更深層次的問題是,他們可能從來沒有真正擁有過“自我”。除了活躍在廣場上跳舞,出現在相親角為子女找對象,很大一部分的他們還被拴在子女的家中,為忙碌的子女帶小孩。


    然而相由心生覺得,不管在哪個年紀,都絕對不能放棄管理自己,管理自己的形象,更要管理內在。“連我上大四的女兒都經常說:‘媽,你好美!’”

    不向年齡妥協甚至忘記年齡本身,是提高生活質感的一個方法,但何嘗不是一種自我意識的覺醒?

    ? 保持心態年輕的秘訣?保持好奇!

    相由心生在游船留影

    “我和其他同齡人的差別,或許是我新鮮事物的接納程度比他們更高,對生活總是保持向往和期待,我為什么喜歡拍野生動物,因為你永遠不知道下一秒會發生什么。


    對這個世界、社會和自然都要有敬畏之心,去探索去學習去看。你不能有‘我就這樣了’的想法,要永遠保持一種‘在路上’的心態…”


    沒有人可以一直年輕,但是你可以選擇以何種方式老去。聽完相由心生的故事,我感受到的不只是一種去生活去腳踏實地創造美的熱情,我把曾當作段子來調侃的這句話“永遠年輕,永遠熱淚盈眶”,在心里讀了好多遍。

    圖片來自受訪者/相由心生

    采訪撰文/美篇麥子

    寫在后面的話:


    當初決定采訪相由心生,就是在和她聊天過程中被她那句“我希望影響更多人改變對中國大媽的看法”,我欣賞這種勇氣的同時,在她身上更看到了是一個群體表達的渴望,這正是美篇用戶身上最可貴的品質。


    被網絡妖魔化“中國大媽”、“中國大爺”,他們有自己的生活和精神世界。占據網絡話語權的年輕人,更應該反思,相比去了解上一代人的生活,我們似乎剛愿意盲目跟風、簡單粗暴地貼標簽。


    永遠沒有太晚的開始,希望每一位正在老去的人都擁有給自己創造快樂的權利和意識!


    我想,這也是美友@相由心生 愿意接受采訪的初衷。

    美友記,讓我看到你的故事!

    下一個被報道的就是你:想要分享故事的美友,請盡量選擇在評論里簡單介紹故事,或者寫個美篇發鏈接到評論區或者私信麥子,這樣是最快捷的讓看到你的方法。


    -在美篇,每一個故事都是人海里閃閃發光的珍珠-

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